3 / +
  • Me: As tall as I am, I would not be alive if I were 148 lbs.
  • Coworker: You'd be a model!
  • Me: Yeah, for the Sara McLachlan commercial for the starving children in Africa!
0 / + So damn beautiful. (at Monroe Street Bridge)
1 / + @mickaylachristine
3 / + Two years ago today I lost this guy to a car accident in Juneau, Alaska. I miss my best friend.
98354 / +

pleatedjeans:

24 Parents Who Are Doing it Right

6038 / +
0 / + Shout out to Cocklos for always having my vagina in mind. <3
28848 / +

multipack:

the bible said adam and eve not socks and sandals
12861 / +

104969 / +

romulusthread:

panemsrebellion:

romulusthread:

STOP UNFOLLOWING ME I HAVE 5 CHILDREN AND A WIFE TO SUPPORT

you are a gay teenage boy

NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN
230544 / +

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
321 / +
175500 / +

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

  • bop it
  • pull it
  • twist it
  • harder
  • better
  • faster
  • stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis
0 / + Throw back!
2 / +

Devin’s dog.